I’M GOD
(WHO OWNS EVERYTHING)
Written by
Ganapathy Subramaniam
Characters:
Mr. Boss
(Blonde) Daughter of Mr. Boss (Heroine)
Mr. S (Hero)
Mom of Mr. S
Waiter
Front Line:
Mr. Boss is a billionaire and has only one daughter named Miss. R. After ending up his World tour in India, he is very much admired about Indian culture and the concept of “Arranged Marriage”. He wants to do arranged marriage for his daughter to his Secretary’s son named Mr. S. Mr. Boss already convinced Mrs. Secretary and asked her to convince his son for the marriage.
Rest is the story…
Scene 1
(Place: S’s house, Actors: S and S’s Mom, Scene: S’s mom convincing S to pick up the girl)
S: What did you just said?
Mom: What?
S: Do you want.. me to.. pick up that girl?!
Mom: Yes!
S: Are you sure.. do you want.. ME.. to pick up that girl!?
Mom: Any problem?
S: that is ridiculous!, Mom, She is your Boss’ daughter and I hardly seen her twice and she is not my kind of girl, mom!!!
Mom: At first everything starts like that, if you “go” with her, you will definitely like her.
S: Did you hear from her on other night’s party. She was of completing Jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because its box says 2 to 3 years. She is dumb, Mom!
Mom: She was funny, may be!
S: No mom!, that’s never gonna happen
Mom: So this is the way you respect your mom, right! It’s all your dad’s mistake. I wish he could be here to take care of you better than me!
S: Mom, you are good. Please don’t sing a song. I will pick her up for dinner tonight.
Mom: That’s my son! Enjoy your dinner baby!!
S: Thanks….. (I am gonna die)!!!
Scene 2
(Place: R’s house, Actors: R, S and R’s Dad, Scene: S picks up R for dinner)
R: Heeeeyyyyyyyy! Hi !
S: Hi….! Are you R?
R: Yes and I hope you are… you are… (struggle to spell name ‘Sathish’)?
S: Sathish.
R: It is lengthy. Shall I call you as ‘S’?
S: S!
R: oh! Thank you. Are you OKAY…..???!!!
S: You said I am ‘S’
R: (ha ha) You are funny. Are you really OK?
S: Yeah.. yeah.. I am absolutely fine. How about you? How was your day??
R: Not bad. Hmmm.
R: My parents told, they are going to decide on my marriage and you are my fiancé. Is it true?
S: What.. no.. no..??! fia.. NO?
R: oh. Yes! I love that idea and They are genius!! I am thrilled!!!
S: Genius! For what?! My mom told me just wanted to hang out … never mind! Where do you like to go?!
R: Bubble park. It is the oldest, largest couple park I have ever seen
S: Bubble park!? Where the hell is that?
R: Oh my god! You didn’t know where is it? It is there since last week and I have been there for the last 7 days.
S: You said it is a couple park?
R: Yeah! I was practicing.
S: Practicing for what?!
R: To be a couple.
[ R’s dad walks across to check mail box at the door steps ]
S: And you said it is the oldest?
R: Yeah! It was opened last week. So oldest.
[ R’s dad walks across few times checking for his mail box ]
S: Is something wrong with your dad?
R: Dad, Is something wrong?!
R dad: There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL'. Hey R! do you know why is it like that?
R: idk, dad.
S: !?!?!
R dad: OK. So.. Where are you heading to?
R: Bubble park! (excitingly)
S: Wait. May I know what is ‘IDK’?
R dad: I don’t know young man, and Wish you happy evening young lady!
R: He doesn’t know that. It means ‘I don’t know’
S: What is that written in your shoes ’TGIF’?
R: yeah. That is ‘Toes go in first’
S: oh! Left side please
R: (confused of which is left and right, tosses up the coin and goes right side)
Scene 3
(Place: Bubble park, restaurant, Actors: R, S, S’s mom and Waiter, Scene: Dinner)
S: ooh.. it is crowded! (goes near waiter.. waiter writing something) Will it be long?
(Waiter ignores and continues writing)
R: How much of a wait? (Waiter getting excited of seeing the blonde)
Waiter: Ten minutes, ma’m. (S exhales deeply)
(sometimes later)
Waiter: Willitte. B. Long, your table is ready!
S: Us!
R: No, you are S!
Waiter: This way please, ma’m.
S: Do you serve pigs?
Waiter: We serve anyone, sir! Come on in!
S: What! (just lip sync)
Waiter: Here are the menu cards. I’ll be back once you are ready ma’m.
S: Do you really like this place?
R: Why not! This place has got lot of bubbles, colorful balloons and paintings… yew!!!
S: What?!
R: Is that really what you call modern art?! UGLY, isn’t it?
S: R, that’s mirror!
(Waiter comes in)
Waiter: Are you ready with your order, ma’m?
R: Could you tell me, what do you have?
Waiter: Sure. I have 1 Ray-Ban coolers, $200 and a beautiful BMW car
S: I haven’t understand a single word in this? Why the hell your restaurant’s menu card is hand written?
Waiter: Thank God. I finally found my scribble pad. (to S secretly) do you know I wrote all my romantic dialogues in this?
S: What!? Could you please tell me what’s good in here?
Waiter: Shall I give you “Soup of the day”?
R: Is it good?
Waiter: It’ll be awesome. You are gonna love it. Would you like some free samples?
R: Sure. How much are they?
S: R, wait. No free stuff. Bring 1 chicken soup and..
R: (towards waiter) One vegetarian soup (towards S) I am in diet.
(Waiter leaves)
S: oh! Actually I planned to speak a lot of things with you, tonight. But things going around me, freaking me out.
(Waiter comes)
Waiter: Here is your order sir! (places a bowl to S and one to R)
S: You are so quick!
R: What is this?
Waiter: Ma’m, it’s bean soup!
R: I don't care what it has been? What is it now?
S: R, it is bean (B-E-A-N) soup.
R: ow..ow..(giggle) Sorry!
S: Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: After a minute please try again, maybe the fly isn't really there.
S: What? No, it's still there.
Waiter: Then it must be an incompatibility issue or maybe it's a configuration problem.
S: ?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
S: Whaaat?!
Waiter: At this point my best advice is to upgrade to the latest Soup of the Day.
S: oh No. Well, What is the Soup of the Day?
Waiter: Soup of the Day is tomato, Sir
S: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup
(Waiter starts to leave)
S: Waiter! does the guitarist play requests?
Waiter: Yes sir.
S: (angrily) Then why don’t you ask him to play some outdoor games until I've finished my dinner. (frustratingly) Annoying man!
Waiter: (Signs guitarist to stop music)
(Waiter leaves)
R: Honey, are you OK?
S: I’m so hun.. (waiter comes with another soup bowl, S looks excitingly, W waits to complete his words) gry now.
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. (smiling at R)
S: Wait! This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
S: See! There's another fly in my soup!
Waiter: That sir, is not a fly, it is a protein feature. We have included this enhancement for free with your soup upgrade.
S: (in suspect) Did you work in MICROSOFT?
Waiter: No, sir. Would you like to order your main course?
S: Do you have anything special?
Waiter: Yes, we have “Food of the day”
R: Honey, at last he is gonna to get you that. Why don’t you order that now itself?
S: Yeah, you are right! Now you look brilliant. Would you mind, if we take deserts somewhere else?
R: No.
S: Then, Please bring “Food of the day” and the check, please.
(Waiter leaves)
S: I wanted to talk… (phone rings)
S: My mom, Shall I take this?
R: Sure.
S: (to mom) Yes Mom.
S Mom: Hi baby, I hope you are enjoying there?!
S: Really mom! Absolutely!! Beautiful!!!
S Mom: I know. I am in my Boss’s house to discuss about your marriage. Could you step in for few minutes, while you drop her?
S: hmmmm… OK mom.
S Mom: OK. Bye.
S: Bye bye.
S: (to R) My mom.
R: I know
S: I wanted to…
(Waiter comes)
Waiter: Here you are, ma’m. This is left leg of the duck; this is the right leg of the duck; this is the wing of the duck;
S: (interrupts) Could you tell me, what is this?
Waiter: That’s, a friend of the duck and here is your check.
Scene 4
(Place: Bubble park, Ice cream parlour, Actors: R, S and Waiter, Scene: Ice cream)
(S and R approaches Ice cream parlour)
Waiter: Yes Ma’m, what would you like to have?
R: You, again!
S: oh No. Not Again!
R: S?
S: Yes.
R: I need Ice cream
S: Please buy it. (S steps backwards and watching R)
Waiter: What do you like to have?
R: I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please.
S: (to R) Wait! You said, you are in diet.
R: Chocolate is just a vegetable.
S: How?
R: Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Beans is Vegetable, hence Chocolate is also vegetable.
Waiter: Sorry ma’am. We're out of chocolate.
R: In that case, I'll have two scoops of chocolate.
Waiter: You don't understand, Ma’m. We have no chocolate.
R: Then just give me some chocolate
Waiter: (angrily) Ma’m, will you spell 'van,' as in 'vanilla?'
R: V-A-N
Waiter: Now spell 'straw,' as in 'strawberry.'
R: OK, S-T-R-A-W.
Waiter: Now, spell 'stink,' as in chocolate.
R: (confused) There is no stink in chocolate.
Waiter: That's what I've been trying to tell you! Ma’m.
R: S! They don’t have chocolates! By the way, what’s the time now?
S: Its half past eight.
R: Weird! I've asked this question ten times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer.
S: Whaaat!! (laughing and shaking his head)
S: Wait! Do you really think, we made for each other?
R: IDK! But I believe in you, you’ll take care of me.
S: (smiles)
(Walks off the screen)
Scene 5
(Place: Boss’s house, Actors: R, S, R’s dad, S’s mom and Waiter, Scene: Conclusion)
R’s dad: Welcome home, kids.
R: Hello, Aunt!
S’s mom: Hi! Hope you have good dinner.
R: It was brilliant. Isn’t it S?
S: Yes.
R: He always says “Yes”, because he is “S”.
(R and S laughs)
R’s dad: Please take your seat, young man.
S: Thanks.
R’s dad: What are your plans?
S: I have bachelors in computer science
R’s dad: Well, that's admirable, But what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter?
S: I will work, and God will surely provide for us.
R’s dad: And how will you buy her a nice engagement ring?
S: I will work hard, and God will provide for us.
R’s dad: And children? How will you support children?
S: Don't worry, sir, God will provide.
S’s mom: Is everything OK?
R’s dad: Well, he has no job and no plans, but the good news is, he thinks I'm God who gives nice house, ring and job.
R’ dad: Yes. Young man, Do you like my daughter?
S: Yes, after all the struggle today. Your daughter is far better. Stress reliever.
R’s dad: Then, could you sign this marriage contract?
S: Sure. (Signing the contract)
(Waiter comes to Boss’s house)
S: What?! Why is he here?
R’s dad: I would like to introduce, Mr. Bill. Great Writer.
S: Writer? Great Writer? What did he write?
R’s dad: He writes stuff that people reacts to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that makes them scream, cry, and howl in pain and anger! He works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
S: What?! This is the guy who annoyed me! Is this all made up?!
R’s dad: Remember, little before, you accepted me as God!
S: So.
R’s dad: எம்முடைய திருவிளையாடல்களில் இதுவும் ஒன்று.
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THE END
